Most of the people in my life don’t know anything about fibromyalgia. I’ve tried to explain it, but it’s so complicated that I just don’t know how to do it, especially when my fibro fog is bad.
How can I explain fibromyalgia in a way that people will understand?
Fibromyalgia is a hard one to sum up. Often, the symptoms are so bizarre and confusing that we don’t understand them ourselves!
It’s best to keep things simple and find comparisons people can relate to. You might want to have a few different explanations ready, though, for different situations.
For example, you want a really quick answer for, say, a casual acquaintance at a social event, whereas you may want to provide a little more detail to a close friend or family member.
Probably the simplest, clearest explanation is:
- Fibromyalgia is like a migraine all over your body.
Most people, whether they’ve had one or not, have a pretty good idea of what a migraine is, so this makes sense to them.
Of course, that explanation only deals with pain, and we have dozens of possible symptoms. If you want someone to understand your fatigue, fibro fog, or ups and downs, you’ll need a different approach.
Just about everyone has had a fatiguing illness like the flu, mono, or strep throat, so those can be good comparisons. I’ve also had good luck with this one:
- You know how you feel when something wakes you up in the middle of the night, after just a few hours of sleep? That’s what it’s like every morning, no matter how much I sleep. Sometimes I feel like that all day.
Other things you can compare it to are:
- The exhaustion of being a new parent
- Having a hangover
- Pulling an all-nighter in college
- Severe jet lag
- Coming out of anesthesia
Make sure to include that you feel that way no matter how much you sleep, and that diet and exercise don’t do anything to combat it, either.
Explaining Fibro Fog
To explain your cognitive dysfunction, again it pays to rely on common experiences.
Who hasn’t walked into a room and forgotten why they were there? Or struggled to find the right word? It happens to everyone now and then, so you can say that fibro fog is like that, only all the time.
The name “fibro fog” is fairly descriptive, so get the people in your life acquainted with that phrase. They’ll generally understand (to a point, anyway) something like, “I’m foggy-headed today,” or, “It feels like my brain is packed in cotton.”
Ups & Downs
Probably one of the most difficult things for people to understand about fibromyalgia is the way our symptoms rise and fall. People tend to think of illness as a constant, so it’s confusing for them to see you doing well one day (or one minute) and unable to function the next.
The best comparison I’ve found for this is:
- Fibromyalgia symptoms come and go, kind of like flares and remissions in multiple sclerosis.
Most people have at least heard about multiple sclerosis flares enough to understand, and comparing fibromyalgia to a disease they know is serious helps them get what this condition really is.
It can help to compare your symptoms to a roller coaster, as well. Let them know what kinds of things (stress, loud noise, etc.) trigger a sudden symptom flare so they understand how quickly symptoms can strike.
A More Physiological Explanation
Sometimes, you may need someone to understand fibromyalgia in more medical terms. If you’re a research geek, it can get easy to get into too much detail and confuse people with explanations of things like neurotransmitters and the body’s stress-response system.
A simple way to explain the physiology of fibromyalgia is:
- My brain and nerves are hypersensitive and over-react to pain and all sorts of other things, and my hormones and immune system are messed up, too.
If someone thinks “brain” equates to “psychological,” you can explain that fibromyalgia is neurological, which puts it in the same category as diseases like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s.
A Word From Verywell
If you find that someone wants in-depth medical information beyond what you can explain, here are some articles you can point them to:
- A Simple Explanation of Fibromyalgia
- The Fibromyalgia Symptoms List
- Neurotransmitter Dysregulation in Fibromyalgia
Because you have your own unique set of symptoms, you’ll have to tailor your explanations to your experience. It pays to give it some thought ahead of time, though, so you have an answer on the top of your head even on a foggy day.