- Self-esteem comes after a job well done
- The sense of self and depression, how do they relate?
- Relationship between low self-esteem and self-sabotage
Sometimes I am not for anyone because I also need it, I also need to listen to myself, mend my broken spaces, file my sharp corners. Therefore, if I do not answer the messages or if I put my phone in silence for a few hours or a few days, it does not mean that I have closed doors to the world, I have only gone for a walk with myself, with that someone who had long neglected.
It is curious how, almost without realizing it, we end up leaving ourselves in the “spam” tray . We relegate ourselves to the drawer of pending matters, to the last page of our agenda or to that phosphorescent yellow post-it that ends up being lost in the natural hustle and bustle of our desk because there is always a priority that advances and delays it.
“There are three extremely hard things: steel, diamonds and knowing oneself”
We live in a tremendously demanding and competitive society, we know that. There are many things to do, and the days can sometimes be as exciting as they are tiring. As if that were not enough, new communication systems are added to it, where the treatment and interactions are constant and immediate.
We live organized in various WhatsApp groups , we are always localizableand on the screens of our mobiles there is always a message to respond, mail to attend, photos to like and a label to respond to even if we don’t feel like it.
It is like living in an epicenter where our hypermetropic gaze is unable to see what is closest. Our tired eyes can read the needs of others but they are unable to decipher their own… Everything seems blurry, everything has become a ball that locks there, in our heart and our mind as if something failed, as if something was not right and we didn’t know what it is …
You have reached the limit and you still do not know
You miss many people, you know that. Every day you have ten mountains to encumbrate and dozens of obstacles to overcome, and you get it, there is no doubt. However, nobody gives you medals for it, almost nobody recognizes your efforts, your dedication or even everything you get to give up for those around you. Gradually, things lose their meaning and people taste. The world no longer has music , it no longer rhymes, it is no longer agile, and you end up sinking into your own responsibilities like the stone that falls into a bottomless pit.
Being for everyone and for everything every day and every moment, has a secretly high interest rate . The signs of this process of continued stress over time can very well lead easily to depression, therefore, we must be very attentive to the symptoms:
- Fatigue, an extreme tiredness that sometimes does not recover with sleep or night rest.
- Headaches, migraines.
- Back pain.
- Bad digestions
- Feeling of constant boredom, life loses almost all our interest .
- Impatience and irritability.
- Frustration, comments full of cynicism, bad mood, constant apathy …
Curious as it may seem, living in a hyper-stimulated and hyper-demanding environment ends up narcortising us . We become insensitive to one’s own needs, foreigners of one’s own heart and lost tramps on that island of Circe where one has completely forgotten where his home is, where that house where his own being lives.
Today I am not for anyone, today I need
Saying out loud “these days I am not for anyone, I need myself” is not disrespectful. No harm is done to anyone, nothing is neglected, the world will continue to spin and rivers will flow. However, something wonderful will happen: we will give way to emotional healing, we will give ourselves time, attention and our own space to take refuge.
It will be like entering us in the hollow of a tree to make contact with our roots, where we meet almost in a fetal position, to nourish ourselves and allow our leaves, our branches, to grow tall and freer to brush the sky.
Next, we propose you to reflect on some ideas that can help you achieve it.
Keys to take control, to assist you when you need
In the midst of this vast routine in which we have just been captive of one’s own and others’ obligations, there must be a space, a small, comfortable and special space that belongs to us alone . It’s like a rescue capsule, like a lifeboat to go to every time we perceive that we have reached the limit .
- When you perceive that external pressures are preventing you from being yourself, stand up and visualize that capsule or that lifeboat: get on it.
- It is time to draw up a rescue plan. Benjamin Franklin used to say that ” if we don’t have a survival plan on a daily basis, we are doomed to drift forever.”
- That survival plan must have a goal and establish what is a priority and what secondary (today my goal is to fulfill my workday, my goal is not to get stressed and my plan includes having two hours for myself. To stay well with my coworkers or family is today secondary).
We must be very clear, finally, that there will be days when the total and absolute priority is ourselves. Making it clear to those who make up our closest context is no act of selfishness.
Turning off the phone, going for a walk , breathing and shelter with our own thoughts is an act of true mental health. Because we believe it or not, those days we need are many, and attend them, putting our name on the list “priorities”, far from being recommended, is MANDATORY.