In life, some people we meet have a profound impact on us. They change the way we think and shape our path in unimaginable ways.

I dreamed of a relationship that made me feel special, fulfilled, and validated my qualities. I manifested the mirror of what I am not and realized how far I was from being truly myself.

Almost ten years ago, I met the person who revealed to me the deep nature behind the pursuit of emotional and sexual fulfillment. She showed me how much suffering is related to holding on to a perception of ourselves and our needs that is unconsciously modeled on the ordinary description of the world and the desires of others. I did not consider myself to be a mediocre person, and in fact I was quite open-minded and psychologically free from conditioning. I realized, however, that my desire to be special, to feel a sense of fulfillment, and to have my qualities validated was very different from what I would have believed.

BPD, a search for the beauty and unconditional love.

It is important to note that Borderline Personality Disorder is a complex disorder and symptoms can vary greatly from person to person. For those unfamiliar with it, BPD symptoms include: extreme emotional sensitivity and instability, unstable identity, obsessions and compulsions, and fear of getting abandoned. I will not talk about BPD as a disease, but as I subjectively experienced it through my relationship with Sara, as a discomfort and a challenge, a search for the beauty and unconditional love.

This challenge taught me the art of balancing my energies and resources, examining the limits of relationships and the motivations we use to justify our being there for others. An essential step that pushed me on the path of spiritual growth.

Patience, balance, non-attachment, mastery of emotions, love.

From the beginning, my friendship with Sara was something intense that I could not fully understand; a whirlwind of emotions, passion and impulsiveness that at first made me stumble. In time, however, I learned to accept and appreciate this intensity as it challenged the usual limits we associate with what is acceptable in a loving relationship:

Patience is perhaps the first quality I had to develop with Sara. Her emotional fluctuations could be unpredictable, I learned to listen to her without judging, without trying to “solve” her every problem, and, most importantly, not to believe that I could understand her just because her behaviors were described as a set of symptoms.

Being friends with a borderline person pushes you beyond your emotional limits. I quickly learned the importance of balance, as I had to find the right balance between my need to help her and my need for self-preservation. This helped me better understand the importance of empathy and detachment from one’s beliefs about the causes of suffering.

I learned that sometimes people must act and make decisions that may not be in their best interest. An important step in understanding the intelligence and connection to life inherent in every being, was to accept this fact without judgment.

Beyond the limits of what we think we are, there are qualities and purposes that we can hardly reach without freeing ourselves from illusions.

Selfless service

This journey with her has shown me that even in the most difficult situations, we can find extraordinary opportunities to grow and become better people. Sara was my unwitting guide on this journey of uncertainty and beauty.

Fear envelops our being like a cold and implacable veil. It is the matrix of our existence, woven into the threads of uncertainty and doubt. But in the depths of our selves, there is an inner glow — can it guide us across the abyss?

One of the most significant aspects of our friendship was the silent decision that became necessary to stand by her despite everything. Beyond a relationship in which each personality finds its support in the other, Sara propelled me into an unknown world where feelings are detached from the ego to find a cause and an explanation that leads to a journey to who we really are. As we discover the hidden power that enables us to overcome obstacles, fear becomes our teacher, placing us in front of a path that can become a spiritual journey as it unfolds as a glowing path. Each step is an accomplishment, each challenge an opportunity to embrace our true essence.